Have you got Vinylitus? No Doctor can cure....

[leggo rocker]

Vinylitus:

A condition which inflicts many people regardless of race, creed, social status and gender (although it does seem to be more prevalent among males).

Sypmtoms:

Swelling of the vinyl shelves, crates or boxes - usually accompanied by an equal and opposite effect on the wallet or bank balance. In very serious cases, it can also cause personal credit card debt to swell. Often the shelves, crates or boxes of records are labeled on the back of red utility bills or final demand letters.

Serious sufferers are easy to spot. They'll have several different copies of the exact same record, citing excuses such as "they have different labels". They will also 'upgrade' a record they already have by buying one in better condition. Very serious sufferers are then unable to bring themselves to sell the duplicate copy.

Side effects include poor eyesite caused by straining to read matrix numbers.

In very serious cases the condition can lead to a break down in close personal relationships or even divorce.

Cure:

There is no known cure although a spell at the Robert Schoenfeld vinyl rehab clinic has been known to alleviate symptoms, if only on a temporary basis.

Sufferers of Vinylitus used to be found at record fairs, but nowadays they are mostly found here:

www.ebay.com

[AnorakTrev]

Help Dr.Leggo,
I have just got back from Oxford Record Fair,and it seems that I have got some of the above symptoms.The difference being that I haven`t spent an absolute fortune on my purchases, as on B-Jay.Ever an eye for a bargain ,I`ve just picked up a mint copy of the Jolly Brothers " Conscious Man " on 7" for a price of £4.00 and an almost mint copy of " North of the River Thames " for just £7.00 !I suggest you put a parental block on your Mac for B-Jay.
I see that you have the word "Guidance " on the bottom of your thread.Sit cross-legged on the floor,listen to your tunes and let your wife do the bidding for you!!!:D
Trevor

[Dub out of Poland]

Leggo,

Vinylitus is a sub-genre of a wider disease called reggae fever. Once you get it, there's no cure.And you don't want no doctor;)

[jah bread]

large doses of marihuana can ease the pain.

[leggo rocker]

large doses of marihuana can ease the pain.

I can't afford any, I've spent all my money on vinyl!

[Bellyman]

Hmm...Leggo you seem to be the expert, please tell me about my symptoms like getting freckles when touching music on CD or having stomach pain from the word 'empeethree' (argh!).
And what about my high-rising blood-pressure everytime
my postman rings on my door ?
Are these dangerous signs ?
What's your opinion

[greg]

poor leggo, i feel your pain, just got back from the record store, lets just say i saw some things i couldnt pass up, and now im definatley paying the price

[ITAL RAS]

Vinylitus can come from inhaling foul things while searching for records...

theres also a reggae rash, rockers twitch, dancehall flu , mad riddim disease.

[leggo rocker]

Hmm...Leggo you seem to be the expert, please tell me about my symptoms like getting freckles when touching music on CD or having stomach pain from the word 'empeethree' (argh!).
And what about my high-rising blood-pressure everytime
my postman rings on my door ?
Are these dangerous signs ?
What's your opinion

If you've started missing work, or organising the rest of you life just to be sure you are at home when the postman rings, then you definitely have Vinylitus.

[darewon]

I'm in recovery. I sold most of my collection (10,000K) over a span of 5 years to record stores and online (not just reggae)/

Since I moved across country, I got bitten by the bug again buying Technics 1200s (again), and started to amass a small collection.

What really helped me kick it for good was that I lack a proper HI FI so I can't really enjoy the tunes.

I found a lot of gems out here in Michigan for cheap. I'll keep them and will only buy the essentials items.