I really need a critic n honest word

[lawrence_mwangi]

most of the guys here are very well versed with music stuff and especially reggae, things i have even not heard off , am not that exposed to music, never been in a choir or any singing group but i have always loved music and been writing music and making tracks i did a video in 2008 , my first song , i knw its not that good, but all of the folks who heard it at home praised it, i have a feeling that most did that to encourage me , i would like your critics, am working on my voice as we speak i have a vocals trainer,
I recorded using synthetics stuff, not a live recording, listen to the video and give advice/critic i will very much appreciate , coz a working on several songs for next year, that will make me grow. i will take it positively
here the song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RTQXYctP8Y

[ital kemar]

hi lawrence. nice tune. i like it. nice vibes on the video too...

ital kemar

[lawrence_mwangi]

thanks

[euro shopper beer]

you can make something totally awesome out of the first minutes (not talking bout the vocal )
Bring those ´ghost´/echo sounds way more in the front of therecording : Like the first few seconds of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMUz6Xo4yH0

[lawrence_mwangi]

thanks you so much @EuroShopperBeer

[lawrence_mwangi]

i will check it tomorrow thanks again !

[jumbo shower]

it's not bad, nice african vibe in it.

you have to get vocal training, as you said. train your better breathing techniques, that will lead to more power in your voice and thus a stronger vocal and song

gwaan do yu ting

[lawrence_mwangi]

@Jumboshower thanks you so much man i really appreacite
JahBless u!!

[I-Lion Tafari]

This is a nice tune with a very good hookline. A vocal training will make your good voice stronger.
I could imagine a female back gound chorus and additional horns on the track.

I enjoyed it a lot, you´re talented - pls go ahead!

Respect n greetings!

[mg1]

use different rimshot and make kickdrum stronger and try get a guitar player by then it should sound criss at least you can send it to radio stations that play your language and it can turn out to be a hit, i dont understand your language but from the intro i can hear it is a concious tune so you have a good chance with it